Stately, Plump Buck Mulligan (never really makes another appearance)

Today at 7:14 pm, I became a person who has read Ulysses. Yes, the entire Ulysses.

The following conversation has happened on more than a few occasions:
Person: Hey, whatchya readin' there?
Me: Ulysses!
Person: for...a class? Or for fun?
Me: For fun!
Person: oh...

In case any of you have been wondering where I've been, my nose has either been buried in the novel, or at my new job (which is pretty great).

I have some thoughts:

When we last left off, I was in the middle of the book. Since then, I've read through a hilarious chapter where, written in the style of a play, things like soap, buttons, and a fan are personified and given lines, becoming minor characters with credible thoughts. Bloom (a man), gives birth, becomes a donkey, goes to trial, and becomes a mayor. WTF. It's hilarious and strange, the plot happening simultaneously in both reality and in a dream-like state, and the entire 200 plus page chapter all takes place in one hour.

 

The chapter that comes next is...dull...BUT it's the beginning of Part 3! The narrative is laborious, and rambling. The identities of the main characters become confused, which could have been interesting but with the writing hard enough to hack through, it's difficult to be impressed.

Throughout the reading, it is hard to keep the perspective that the entire book takes place in one day. This is usually forgotten multiple times due to the fact that in no way can this book be read in one day. In the penultimate chapter, our drunk and perverted protagonist finally returns home, with his new buddy Stephen Dedalus. Written in a Q&A catechism style, Joyce gives us way, way, way, way, way too much information. We understand that Bloom fills a cup with water. What we don't need to know is how the water gets from the reservoir to the pipes, which then fills the very cup that Bloom is holding. And then there's great merriment when the narrative describes the two characters while they are taking a piss outside, with Joyce comparing the longevity and vigor of their streams (I mean seriously, if there's going to be a four page poop joke earlier in the book, you can almost see this one coming). In a way this chapter is the reward because of the extremely extensive explanations, but it is also an anti-climax because we realize that although Stephen and Bloom have much in common, they obviously will not become best friends. Which is kind of a bummer because after 700 pages you want a happy ending.  Bloom does, however, resign himself to his wife's affair by putting the actual act in perspective to the entire world it seems, and in the end forgives her, which I guess is as happy as the ending can get. In some way, I think this chapter reflects a concept that is bigger than Bloom, bigger than Stephen, and bigger than mankind...but I can't quite grasp the words I am looking for.

And so now we talk about the last chapter. Comprised of eight massive sentences, in a steam of consciousness narrative from the point of view of Bloom's wife Molly in the middle of the night, it is surprisingly easy to read (despite the complete lack of punctuation including apostrophes). It's important to note that the final chapter is written from the perspective of a woman, but written by a man (I think Joyce is honestly trying to open up to the female perspective, but fails, simply because he is not a woman). It goes a great deal into explicit thoughts about her sex life, not quite a Fifty Shades of Grey moment, but one hundred years ago in a very Christian Dublin, probably would have been treated as such.

I'm glad I read it, I'm glad I finished it, but I'm a little sad to be done with it. I dedicated a part of my life to reading it, and now it's like saying good bye to a friend. I've had a lot of fun reading articles about the book itself, about the author, uncovering some of the puns and jokes, and learning about different interpretations. But sadly it is time to move on. The giant of Infinite Jest and I have been eyeing each other for quite some time now. I also have recently acquired two books by Martin Amis (whose writing style "can rise to Joycean brilliance" - Newsweek), a very thoughtful Christmas gift.

I am so sick of talking about Ulysses now, but it's more than a book. I'm not sure what to call it, but it's not just a book. A concept maybe? I'm at a loss for words.

And so it is up to you. Will you be the next to read Ulysses? The Joyce is yours.



(see what I did there?...heh)

My Adventure with Ulysses...so far.

There is a fair amount of insecurity when it comes to sharing my thoughts on books. To publicly post something like this with my thoughts regarding a huge literary work that has been largely written about and analyzed takes a lot of courage. This is not an analysis, nor does it hold anything substantial to contribute to the world of Joyce scholars. It's simply a short list of thoughts and some really interesting links.

If you become bored out of your skull, there's no way for me to know that you've stopped reading :) 

When I first started reading Ulysses, I hadn't read any guides or articles, had no idea what it was about, and had no idea what to expect. I am currently a little more than halfway through with it, and I have some comments.

1.) When reading such a major literary work, it's easy for one to take every line seriously, and to try to find meaning behind every little event. This will not work because the events that occur in the book have very little impact on whatever plot exists, and the vast majority are just mundane events that occur in every day life. What you don't expect, is that it's hilarious...and it wasn't until around episode 4, where there is an extended poop joke that goes on for a few pages, that I stepped back and realized that I was reading a comedy. Even Joyce himself states in an interview that  “the public will demand and find a moral in my book—or worse they may take it in some more serious way, and on the honor of a gentleman, there is not one single serious line in it”. 

2.) That being said, there are layers upon layers of jokes, puns, and puzzles that Joyce lays down for us in the book, and the best part is that they're all totally unexplained. There is one "chapter" (episode) that is basically all music puns, and one even references Don Giovanni, which will fly over the heads of readers unfamiliar with the music world. Some things only make sense when they're read aloud - and in an Irish accent. There is also humor found in the fact that Homer's Odyssey is the work that Ulysses is loosely (and I mean loosely) based upon. Instead of the characters in the Joyce novel being heroic, they're drunk, perverted Irish men. There are even jokes on Shakespeare's major works, most of which probably went right over my head...not to mention the hundreds if not thousands of other details and nuances that lay hidden within the words. I would leave any interpreting to Mr. Frank Delaney: this is a man who has taken on a serious mission to decipher the entire book line by line. 

3.) And here's the kicker: It's written in the most beautiful language. So it's a hysterical comedy with not too much of a plot, full of puzzles and references, hidden jokes, with no real moral, and written by someone who is a wizard of the English language. All that and I'm only half way through the book, which chapter-wise leaves me at the very beginning of episode 14, out of 18 total episodes. There's a chapter (7) where it's written in the style of a newspaper, with headlines and everything. There's a chapter (10) where everything stops and it follows around minor characters of the book, about 19 of them, with 19 individual short stories, and they all make fun on the major characters of the book while walking around the streets of Dublin. There's even one, which is in my near future (15) written in the style of a play, complete with stage directions. 

This book blows my mind.

Not that I'm trying to convert you into a Joyce reader, but if the reasons above haven't sparked at least a little bit of interest in the work, here's a pretty good article on why you should read this book. Yes, it's a huge book that falls around 783 pages. Yes, you may not understand the majority of what's happening, and you will not catch all of the jokes. You might not even laugh once. Yes, it's a difficult read because you have to adjust to all the different writing styles. It's a daunting task, but with this book being more talked about than actually read, wouldn't you at least want to hack your way through it just once, if not for the bragging rights alone?

Doing the best I can...

Fall Resolutions

New Years resolutions never work, and I'm pretty sure there have been studies that prove it. Ever since I was four years old, every September has felt like the real beginning of the year: for school. The changing leaves, my new back-to-school wardrobe, and fresh backpacks waiting to be stocked with new pens and pencils, probably a calculator, notebooks; and that first assignment: go home and cover your books. Then usually once the year starts, notebooks become old, you lose all your pens, book covers rip, out come the grungy winter boots, less sunlight, homework up to your ears.

The point that I'm trying to make is that winter sucks and fall is the best season ever. Most of the trees have already changed, since it's almost November, but there are still some things I want to do before the snow comes, and while it's mild enough to make me want to put on a coat, and not stay inside under the covers. 

Fall Resolutions: 

-Visit my two favorite museums in Boston: Museum of Fine Arts, and the Gardner Museum, because there is so much to see, and so much to be inspired by.

-Fall walk along the Charles (ok, so maybe I did this about a week ago, but the weather was way too nice, and it ended up being a sweat-fest instead of a leisurely walk complete with scarves and hot apple cider). 

-Get to the BSO, and keep going. Last year I got buried under a pile of work and wasn't able to go hear some of my favorite pieces. Although I did perform there, I do enjoy watching my favorite players crush masterpieces. In a good way. 

-Read more. I received Infinite Jest for my birthday. A really kind gesture, or a cruel joke? I know that I will enjoy myself on the 1,079 page venture, but in the meantime, I want to read everything. Although I'm a big fan of non-fiction, a murder mystery every now and then is refreshing. I also want to read more philosophy books. I don't want my brain to die since I'm no longer in school...even though I'm pretty sure there's no chance of that happening.

-Find a job that I love. I am currently in between jobs. My last day at the seafood conglomerate is tomorrow. After that I have a new job at one of my favorite restaurants in Boston. I can't complain, money will be good, consistent, and I can already tell I will enjoy it. The thing is, it's not in my field. I know I'm not the only one who graduated with a degree in fine arts who is doing something that pays the bills, but feels like you're just waiting for something better to come along. The hard thing is, to nail an audition, you need to practice, so you need time. The more time you take to practice, the less time you are working. When you don't work you don't make money. You don't make money, you can't pay off your really expensive undergraduate school bills. So you need a job where you can make money. So you work more, practice less. And so the vicious circle continues. 

Cheer up Washington, it's  not all bad.

Also, I now consider myself an expert in making deals with creditors, so if you need advice, send me an email. 

These are the things I want to do. When I first started this blog, the months of October and November were completely dedicated to the exploration of Boston. So that will be my goal this fall. I know it's already November, but there is only so much time before winter begins, and my list isn't that long. 

Today is the first Saturday I have had all to myself in a while, and I am enjoying every second of it. I am going to go and enjoy my day now, I slept all the way in (past noon), and had a pumpkin donut for breakfast. Now I'm going to maybe go for a run while it's still nice out (lower 60s). 

Tonight there will be much celebration, as I enjoy the Salty Pig with my coworkers, so that I can spend my last shift ever in my true form: severely hungover. 

Cheers. 

Nashoba Brook Bakery

Confession time. On Sunday I ate with reckless abandon and ended up eating a few pounds of sour patch kids, and finishing off an entire package of fudge covered sugar wafers with a good friend of mine. Now that I'm back on track, I can say that although my taste buds were happy...my stomach was totally unbearably angry.

But I've been good ever since!

One of the worst discoveries that I have made so far is that most bread contains sugar...and I love bread. Bread is wonderful. But wait! I discovered Nashoba Brook Bakery bread at whole foods. There are 0 grams of sugar...and their bread is like...so good. Probably the best bread I've ever had. 

So when you have their Rosemary Garlic bread and add to it home-made tuna salad (with mayo, pickles, and onion), you can actually have a sandwich that contains no sugar. Yay! Also, if that tuna salad sounds gross to you, don't knock it until you've tried it. I'm still doing the watermelon mint water stuff...and I'm heading to Whole Foods tomorrow to try something new. Not sure yet, but I have a few ideas. I'll for sure edit this when I have a decent concoction. 

It's still hard to get a quick something to eat when you're on the road or running late to work. For instance, I had my usual Starbucks breakfast sandwich when I was running late enough for work to not be able to make my own food. Whilst chowing down, I looked up the nutrition facts. There were only 3 grams of sugar, which isn't that much. What startled me was the fact that it had 28 grams of fat and 500 calories. That is literally more than a quarter of what I need for the day...and it's tiny, so you'll be hungry again in an hour. Even McDonalds' breakfast burrito isn't that bad in comparison, coming in at just under 300 calories with 16 grams of fat (and 2g of sugar). At least the former is pretty good...leaving the latter a rather tasteless and flaccid "burrito". Although their coffee isn't the worst I've ever had...so that's an upside. 

Enough about calories. I'm just glad to have finally found something that's actually really good with no sugar. Thanks Nashoba. 

----------------------------------------------------------------

Things I have noticed now that I am almost done with the second week of no sugar:

-The morning following my sugar binge I snoozed my alarm so hard. Now that I'm back on track I've been waking up on my own at around 6:30am. Not that I actually want to ever get out of bed at that hour, but it's better than sleeping through my alarm or pressing snooze a million times.

-I used to nap in a booth at work between shifts. Now I have more energy and crash less in the afternoon.

-Aaaaand, I've lost five pounds, even though the point of this was not to lose weight. 

And there you have it. The results of 12 days (mostly) without sugar.

------------------------------------

Edit: 9/13

The newest concoction has been made. 

Ingredients include strawberries, basil, and lime seltzer. 

If you think it looks good, you're right. 

Happy Weekend. 

Not as Easy as it Sounds

Not sure why there is a huge space here...whatever. 

Turns out, going without sugar is a total drag. Literally.

It's time consuming to read every single label and to google nutrition facts whenever I am about to eat something at work. It's inconvenient when you're on the road and desperately need some nourishment after teaching and the only thing that is fast and cheap is a Dunkin (I had black coffee and ALMOST a donut). It sucks when you want to have a coke or a lemonade for that sugary fix in the middle of the day and then fatigue hits you and then you want to hit a coworker for speaking to you because you're tired (lest you have a diet coke...oh the chemicals...although I did have a small one out of desperation). It also sucks when you go out with friends for drinks and you have you have your Hendricks on the rocks instead of with tonic water. Oh wait, that's better. Tonic water also has about 32g of sugar per 12oz. But it's also incredibly painful when you're dealing with a sudden change in your diet and you get a giant stomach ache in the middle of the day that makes for hours of discomfort.

BUT...

Six days in, what are the good things? I'm drinking a lot more water, and having fun with putting things in my water to make it healthy. I'm cooking more of my own food at home which is healthier anyway, but it also makes my wallet feel good. I am actually sleeping much better at night and waking up early is easy. It takes some planning ahead, but bringing in my own meals to work is working for me (low fat hummus and baby carrots, almonds, huge water bottle full of stuff). I think I'm just eating healthier because I'm reading the packaging and going for whole foods instead of processed, and since I'm allowing fruits and not fruit juice or sweet teas or any other sugar beverage that disguises itself with healthy sounding labels, I all around feel better.  

------------------------------------------------

The water:

A lot of internet sites will call the following "detox" beverages. I just think they're delicious...but also no matter what our diet is, our bodies are always detoxing, so is there really such a thing? 

Lemon, cucumber and mint: 

One lemon, one cuke, and one handful of fresh mint. 

Let sit overnight and enjoy.

Of course when I walk into work everyone is like "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT"

Watermelon and mint:

Two ingredients. Hopefully one really good water drink. 

Two simple ingredients 

Of course, I wasn't able to let this sit overnight to let the flavors mix in, but there was quit a bit of leftover watermelon juice in the container.

So it's going quit well for me over here. I've had a few moments where I maybe had something that contained sugar (bread), but I think a slip up once in a while is okay. It's hard and it's a huge change, but so far the benefits have been worth it.

First New Challenge in a While

Okay this month I actually have something for you. Whoever "you" are. But first let me say something about narcissism.

Since this is my personal blog, it contains my thoughts, my perspective, and details about my life. So you could say that blogging by nature is a narcissistic activity. I think that is true for most. I, however, think of this more as a way of reaching out to the world, and as a hobby. I enjoy writing and sharing certain things about my life, and this blog has been useful in getting me out of "ruts" and rough patches that have occurred in my life.

That being said, this blog was inspired by a TED Talk given by Matt Cutts, and there is a link to his video on the right hand side of this page (unless you're reading this on a phone, in which case I have no idea where it would be). It's about trying something you've always wanted to try and giving it a shot for the next 30 days. It's about adding something new to your life...or taking something away. I haven't really done an actual "challenge" in a while, but this being the first of the month, it's a great time to start one.

So the challenge is: go sugar free for 30 days.

Why? Because I've realized that I am dependent on the stuff. Every time I'm at work and need a lift before starting a shift, I pour myself a coke, or a lemonade, or a ginger ale...then I go out for drinks and usually get a gin and tonic (gin itself isn't so bad...its the tonic that has a ton of sugar). Add to that the fact that I'm a total chocoholic and work in a restaurant where I am constantly grazing, and maybe have a few too many bites of whatever dessert we are featuring that week. Plus the usual soy vanilla latte that I have before work...and the one I have on break because of their damned "treat receipt".

After thinking about this for a few days, and really noticing my sugar-binging habits, I'm going to stop. Here are my rules:

1. Fruit is allowed, because besides the sugar, there are vitamins and fiber and other health benefits. Fruit juice, however, is completely out of the question.

2. Coffee is allowed. Black coffee. Nothing in it. (So I probably won't be drinking it anyways)

3. Drinking is permitted once a week (and in moderation)(...it's okay, I laughed at that too). Red wine, dry whites, and hard liquor. No beer, whites, or mixers. Except for soda water. But I'd rather have my gin on the rocks anyways, thank you very much.

4. Since it is the month of a certain significant others birthday, I will allow myself one day of indulgence. Because what's a birthday without cake? COME ON.

5. Read the labels...because it's surprising how much shit has sugar in it.

My plan of attack so far is to make my own naturally flavored water to stay hydrated so that my cravings for soda aren't fueled by thirst. I am also going to start to bring raw almonds, hummus, and baby carrots to work instead of eating the food that they prepare for us (it is not because one of their meals made me violently ill with food poisoning which affected other members of the staff...no, not at all).

Because this post was written haphazardly in my kitchen while eating a raw pepper, I am trying to get out of the house, so grammar and spelling are taking a back seat. This goes unedited this time.

No sugar. Join me.

Ima Read

I think my frustration for still not having a name for this blog thing is apparent in my new title change. Even though I kind of like it, it's not going to stay. At least I didn't try to morph any clarinet puns into the title, like "Good Reeds". That makes me both cringe and feel nauseous. 

My summer goal was to get through a bunch of James Joyce books. I am about halfway done. With the first book. Okay, if you have read Dubliners you may agree or disagree with what I'm about to say. If you haven't read it, in my personal opinion, you aren't missing much. I get that the stories are supposed to be snapshots of life in Dublin, and that the main character of the stories have some sort of revelation in the last few moments of the story (which seems to be building toward a major event in the plot, but each story grows increasingly more anticlimactic), and that's really all it's been for the eleven stories that I have ambled through. The only story that was memorable was the one about the two boys who skip school and befriend a perv. I guess it's less of a befriending and more of a creepy crossing of paths. Nevertheless I am still reading whenever I get a chance, since the last story, entitled  The Dead seems the most promising (but that's based wholly on the title), but of course it's the last story. I might even skip Portrait of an Artist (etc...) and read Ulysses and then stop after that. Finnegan just seems like too many pages of...I don't even know.

The most recent focus in my life these past couple months has been working out, which should have been my summer goal. If you had told me a few months ago when I joined the gym that is literally across my street (really no excuses) that I'd spend a lot of my time doing yoga, I totally would have believed you, as I have done yoga before, really love it, and it's held at a reasonable time. If you had told me that I would become the type of person who would wake up at 5:30 AM for a spinning class that starts at 6:15, or buy boxing gloves and take that on as a new hobby, there's no way I would believe you.

I feel like doing yoga is comparable to enjoying a fine wine. You appreciate it over a long period of time, the smallest of details become important, everyone gets something different from the experience, and you can go at your own pace. Except for this one time in class where we had three minutes of "free" yoga time where we could do anything we wanted. Everyone went nuts with super advanced poses. Some dude did a hand stand against the wall, this girl was doing some amazing other thing where just her hands were on the floor; I just did a few poses and then sat on my mat sipping water, feigning exhaustion and dehydration.
If yoga is like wine, then boxing and spinning are like shots (typical server/musician comparing things to booze). Small doses, but holy crap it does the trick. Plus it gives me the chance to wake up in the morning and I have more daylight to actually get things done instead of waking up just in time to throw on my black uniform and rush to the T.

But my brain doesn't always work. For instance, just a few days ago I locked myself out of my apartment. No keys, no phone, nobody home. So I was forced to climb in through my window...we've all done it, right? And since I realized I was locked out half way through switching my laundry from the washer to the drier, the blind panic I felt prevented me from even attempting to start the damn drier. Which I realized almost too late. Clothes were dried, and I had to take a cab into work.

At this point I'm just rambling with no real thought process as to where this post is going. I guess I'm just having a reality check that summer is almost over. I didn't really do a whole lot aside from working out, and working at work, but it was relaxing. With the significant other back from Europe, life is even better. And he helped me film this work of art which has become inescapable:

And if you're wondering from where the title of this blog came, here is the incredibly explicit song, that I am currently enjoying way too much. Once again, incredibly explicit. You have been warned.

Jumping for Joy(ce)

Yes, as the title suggests, I'm starting a journey where I will be reading a lot of James Joyce. So I picked up Finnegans Wake the other day, and then promptly put it down. After recently finishing House of Leaves by Mark Danielewski, I feel as though I need to read something with a somewhat coherent narrative. I have my thoughts on House of Leaves, but I lack the energy to talk about it right now. I recommend it...if you have lots (and I mean lots) of time on your hands, and if you don't mind doing minor calisthenics while reading.

The last few posts I made on here were during the winter when I was going through a major rough patch. After spending months of trying to get back on my feet (and being knocked back down again and again), I have finally graduated with a Masters Degree from Boston University...and I owe a lot of people who were there for me when things got really bad...but I don't really have the will or energy to talk about that right now either. I do have some other exciting news that I would love to talk about: This September, I will be starting as an adjunct clarinet teacher at Southern New Hampshire University. This is a huge, huge, huge opportunity, especially for a recently graduated musician. I have no words to express how thankful and lucky I am. :-)

So I'm just going to do a little recap of some awesome things that have happened, since I haven't been on here for a while, and then figure out the fate of this blog.

One of my best friends wrote his first musical:

Celebrating the premier of Where's My Cape at Devlin's Pub

I hung out with rockstars:

Robert Sarzo of Queensryche 

Had a very tame St. Patricks Day:

On break at Brownstone

Saw my favorite band do an unplugged set for one of my best friends on his birthday:

Most of the band: Bent Knee

 Performed the Berlioz Requiem in Symphony Hall:

 Premiered a children's opera:

Premiere of The Luminous Moon

Spent time with one of my best friends who was in town for a few days:

Yes, that is toilet paper. 

 Graduated Boston University:

The day I cleaned out my locker. Short people always get the tallest lockers. 

Started a 1500 piece puzzle...still working on it:

A lot more progress has been made since...but still. 

Sat the cats. Still sitting the cats.

Muffy & Silver

My mom threw me a kickass graduation party...and my best Boston friends came!

Saw the American Band play at Faneuil Hall:

Went to a wedding reception in this building:

Went to a lovely restaurant for my grandmothers 94th birthday:

Finn's Harborside in East Greenwich, RI

Then after, went on a boat ride:

This:

<3 

Started and finished House of Leaves:

Spent a week at Bethany Beach in Delaware:

Our place for a week...Sam and I lived upstairs in the loft.

Frequented the boardwalk

Played tennis

Ate so much crab

Went kayaking

Played mini golf

Went parasailing 

Got dunked

Spent hours on the beach

That was fun...even though there isn't enough time to include everything.

So about the blog situation, this is what's going to happen. I'm keeping the blog...for now. Instead of updating each month about something new I've been wanting to try, I'm just going to chill out. I'm going to read a lot of books, cook lots of food, work out, stay busy, hang with friends, and see some shows. I'm going to paint my nails, watch lots of movies, take myself out to dinner, keep my room clean, and focus on myself. These are all things I didn't have time for as I was finishing up my degree...and now that I'm done and have a great job to look forward to, I am going to have an actual summer vacation (you know, and work the more-than-occasional restaurant shift).

As of right now, if you're looking for some sort of challenge...I'm going to read a lot of James Joyce in the order listed below:

1. Dubliners (1914)
2. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (1916)
3. Ulysses (1922)
4. Finnegans Wake (1939)

Sprinkle some poems on top, and that's my main summer goal. Join me?

Thanks for reading! I'll be better at updating, I promise. 

Blending In

I can't decide if I actually like what I just made, or if I'm just used to the taste because I keep drinking it.

Either way, I made a smoothie. We're not talking about the hey-let's-put-all-this-yummy-fresh-fruit-into-a-blender-and-make-some-kind-of-tropical-tasting-smoothie, but more of a lets-get-weird kind of smoothie. So if you're feeling weird, this one might be for you.

Side note: Ever since a smoothie place opened up in close proximity to where I work (or if you're reading this as a seasoned smoothie drinker), this post is nowhere even close to how weird things can get.

But I digress...

What goes in:

• More strawberries than I used. I used only about 8, but after adding everything else, it ended up severely lacking in the berry-flavor category. You should also really use fresh strawberries, and use them right away before they go bad. If you have to freeze them, make sure you cut off the leaves first, otherwise you'll find yourself trying to hack through a frozen strawberry (speaking from experience). 
• Less peanut butter than I used. One spoonful is probably enough, but I used two very generous spoonfuls because I love peanut butter. In an effort not to make a bad pun, just take my word for it and only use one. Also, use organic peanut butter: it's not as sweet and it's also wayyyy better for you.
• A half cup of oats (yay fiber!). Oats lower cholesterol, help to prevent heart problems, you'll feel fuller for longer, etcetera.  
• A couple squeezes of honey from the little bear (in more specific terms: probably a little more than a tbsp)
• A cup of soy or almond milk. I would have preferred to try this with almond milk, but alas...
• Since I used fresh, yet frozen, strawberries (I had to work and didn't want them to go bad) I didn't use ice, but feel free to add ice or even sorbet (raspberry or blood orange could work). 

And the rest is pretty self explanatory. 

The end result is a thick, pink, cold smoothie that is super healthy, and filling enough to be an entire breakfast in itself. If you're feeling ambitious enough to make this, let me know how you like it, because hopefully it turns out better than mine...not that mine is bad, all I'm saying is it's a little heavy on the nuts. 

(I really, really tried to avoid making some sort of joke)

(...no I didn't)

Butter No Parsnips

Well guys, I finally cooked something and it doesn't matter that it took me an hour and a half, or that I broke a plate in the process, or that I actually had to google what a parsnip looked like in order to find it in the produce section.

What I used:

• a whole bunch of carrots (but not the whole bag pictured above)
• a bunch of butternut squash
• 4 red potatoes 
• 2 parsnips
• 2 onions
• pretty much a whole clove of garlic
• a thing of spinach 
• a cup of rice
• olive oil
• hint: you can use whatever vegetables you want, I just chose the more seasonal, wintery, root vegetables.

What I did:

• after peeling/cutting up the carrots and parsnips, potatoes, onions, squash, and garlic, I put them in a big glass casserole-type cooking vessel, drizzled some olive oil over it, added some thyme and rosemary (parsley and sage are optional...if you get the reference) and put them in the oven that had been preheated to 420 degrees (Fahrenheit). 

• After putting it in the oven, I made some rice, which is pretty easy to do so I won't expand (and since you're mostly just waiting for the rice to absorb the water, it's a good thing to start if you're waiting for something to cook in the oven for 40-45 minutes). 
• When the veggies looked like they were getting ready (after about 40 minutes) it was time to quickly sauté some spinach, with the ingredients I had prepared pictured below (minced garlic and olive oil)

• Turns out, it's pretty hard to determine how much spinach to use since it shrinks up kind of fast in the heat, so put a pretty decent amount in the pan. 
• Hint: make sure you have plates ready to put the spinach on, otherwise you might take out some big dishes from the cupboard in a rush, and in your haste, not realize that there is a glass bowl on top, making you drop it, and as it shatters on the floor, your spinach making is almost completely foiled...until your friend steps in and finishes up with the spinach while you sweep up the bits of broken glass that are now all over the kitchen floor. 
• After you sweep up the glass, take the veggies out, and pour yourself another glass of wine, it is time to enjoy an awesome dinner. 

Side note: I perfected this dinner by accident. I used to make this dish with the veggies covered with tin foil so that they wouldn't dry out in the oven, but one time when I was roasting vegetables I ran out, and not wanting to leave my apartment, I did without. I left them in the oven for what I thought was too long, and when I took them out I almost cried. There were my vegetables, all shriveled up and burned looking, and I was still hungry. What a waste. I decided to try to eat them anyway, and I realized that they were better that way, and I was astonished. The veggies had caramelized and it was like eating little candies...little vegetable candies. 

This is not meant to be a recipe type blog, by the way. I'm not going to delve into using precise measurements of anything, mainly because I don't really use measurements and usually just "eyeball" ingredients (which has it's advantages and disadvantages). And I know I'm not telling any of you guys anything new by explaining how to roast vegetables, or saute spinach. This is a learning experience for me, so for all of you who already know how to cook things, maybe you can at least be entertained by my indiscriminate cooking attempts. 

Thanks for reading!