Let's Talk About Scary Stuff

I've had The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (and other stories) on my shelf for a while now. The same $3.95 copy I picked up from Barnes & Noble at the beginning of the summer. I was planning on it being a "beach book", but instead I chose House of Leaves (which I don't recommend...although my arms looked great my the time I was done reading it). Turns out, the Jekyll Hyde book would have probably been a better choice for a couple reasons:

1. Light, easily fits in a beach bag, and it was only $4. The paper back books that I read tend to get a little more wear and tear.

As my boyfriend once stated: "I can always tell which books you've read"...but only because I nearly ruined his copy of Dubliners; it was in my backpack when I got stuck in a torrential downpour waiting for the T without an umbrella in which everything got soaked. I'm surprised Ulysses made it relatively unscathed. Only two pages fell out.

2. Now that I'm currently reading the "other stories" part of the book, I am realizing that these stories are more like the cheap romances that you pick up at an airport...except the scary, Victorian era version. These short stories were usually published in magazines, or if they were longer (like Dr. Jekyll) they were little books that only cost one shilling, giving them the nickname "shilling shockers". I can understand that these 150 page books were short, graphic, inexpensive novels that were popular in the 1800s, and not at all shocking, because obviously this is 2015, and we are all desensitized. 

So if these are like the modern day cheap-o books we pick up for beach reads, why has Stevenson been able to stay in publication for 120 years? My guess is that Dr. Jekyll (rather, Mr. Hyde) just really freaked the shit out of people. I was reading about the play version in the convenient little introduction at the beginning of the book, you know, the part where the pages are still roman numerals...and it's like any new, exciting piece of entertainment. The play caused people to faint, and scream, but by this point in time we all know the story. It was even featured in an episode of Arthur if you remember.

It's sort of like if we were going to see Weber's terrifying opera Freischütz (1821) tonight, we wouldn't really be at all frightened by the Wolf's Glen scene. Although, funny story. We watched this at the arts high school I went to, and us being high schoolers and all, noticed that in this particular production, there is a rabbit in the background jacking off. Talk about shocking. It's here if you want to see it:

So maybe there is still room to be shocked, but this scene terrified a very young Wagner who then went on to create his own fantastical operas. But the point is, we wouldn't be scared. Just be slightly mortified at what we are all watching, so we might awkwardly giggle. 

Things we are scared of now? Zombies, ghosts, monsters, Republicans. Well, the first three are the same things that were scary hundreds of years ago, but they've evolved to be terrifying. If this was shown during the time of Dr. Jekyll, people wouldn't have fainted...they would have DIED. 

mwahaha:

(Shamelessly promoting my favorite movie with the best music)

OH and speaking of monsters...

Moving on, it's important to do at least a tiny bit of research when reading books. To get a sense of the lives the lead, where they lived, what was happening during the time they were writing and how it influenced them, and I do this will all artists. Authors, painters, actors, composers, choreographers, etc. My favorite thing is to read or watch (if available) interviews, to get a sense of what these artists are like as actual humans. 

During my search for any sort of information about the author of Dr. Jekyll, and equally famous Treasure Island, I found the official Robert Louis Stevenson Website. There's even an RLS day, although I'm pretty sure it's only celebrated in his hometown of Edinburgh, Scotland. Sort of like Bloomsday, a celebration of Ulysses in Ireland.

So to sum everything up...

No, I do not think Dr. Jekyll's story is about booze, I don't think it's worth it to talk about themes (yes it's about good vs. evil and evil wins), and I don't think there is a whole lot there to analyze. I mean, let's be real, you can really analyze anything to death, but that's not what these stories are about. They are meant to be entertaining, to shock you, and to be scary. 

Yes, reading it today will be underwhelming. We know the story of Dr. Jekyll, so we know how it's going to end. A Lodging for the Night is even more anticlimactic. RLS was writing an historical thriller (yes, this happened in the Victorian era), and it takes place in Paris in 1456. Thrilling. To think of Medieval Paris is the only thing that's cool about it, because it's hard to do. Instead of the romantic walks around the Eiffel tower and eating baguettes, we're stuck with wolves roaming the streets, and people freezing to death outside. A promising opening, involving a group of drunken thieves and a murder, it  fizzles out after seven (7) pages containing dialogue about being a thief and why it's bad. 

Currently, I'm right smack in the middle of The Suicide Club, which is probably the "scariest" so far. But really it's just anxiety. Boiled down, the fate of the members depends on which cards you are dealt, which is another take on Russian roulette. I do not have a good relationship with Russian roulette (I don't know anyone who does) as it took me about a month to watch the Deer Hunter, pausing in between scenes and letting weeks pass before starting it up again. 

Do I recommend it? Sure. It's still pretty okay writing. It's a good way to pass the time on the T, or when it's slow at work. I don't really read it at home for pleasure, but that's because I'm also reading Infinite Jest and I can't bring it out of the house because it's over 1,000 pages. Plus, it's a monster that I just can't even talk about right now because I don't know how. 

Anyways, check out the RLS website. It's so nerdy. 

And if you see the book, pick it up. Totally worth the $4. 

Dead Babies: A Rather Explicit Post

 Disclaimer: this is going to be explicit, so if you're under 13 or if you're easily offended/disgusted, you might want to skip this one.

Dead babies. By now we've all heard the extraordinarily disgusting and perverse "dead baby jokes", where the teller of the joke tries to push the very limits of just how disgusting and perverse they can make them.

And that so ends the connection (disgust) between the jokes themselves and the book Dead Babies written by Martin Amis, shown below:

When I finished this book, my immediate reaction, and pardon my French, was "What the flying fuck did I just read?!" (Yes, the f-word had to be involved because there is literally no other word I can think of to explain this book).

To give you an overview without spoilers:

This book is probably the worst, yet best written book that I have ever read, that is populated by horrible, infantile assholes juxtaposed next to advanced vocabulary, doing unspeakably horrible things to each other. When they aren't being horrible to each other, they are horrible to neighbors (crapping down their chimneys), visitors (so much to say here, that I won't), and local wildlife (shooting birds after laying down seeds for them in their yard). 

The examples above that I have given are the least offensive in the entire book. There is no break in the debauchery (it's essentially about four super rich people in England who invited over three sexually adventurous friends from America to do drugs in a big house together with a really ugly fat short guy, a prostitute with "a heart of gold", and Johnny who we don't meet until the last four pages), depravity, and douchebaggery. Being published in the 70s, I had to wonder how this book was perceived in the 80s, 90s, and 00s. I don't think it aged well, but this book is glorious. It's hilariously dark, and grotesque. I've wanted to read Amis for a long, long time as he's been always in the back of my mind, and I seriously think I've stumbled upon my favorite writer. Which probably makes me really effed up. The entire book is comprised of short, fucked up back stories of each character, interlaced with the drug induced sexual encounters of the present. 

I expected satire when I opened up this book for the first time. What I didn't expect was the amount of debauchery. Once I got used to the constantly drunk and high characters, described in such a way that even someone who has never done drugs before would understand (not that I would know), I then had to adjust to the discomfort of this book. I couldn't read it on my way to work on the T, due to the fear that some curious bystander would take a look over my shoulder and read a few sentences and step back far, far away from me. I laughed, I cried out "ew!!" a few times, and then the last four pages are unexpectedly terrifying, memorable, kind of funny in a weird way, illuminating, and different from anything in the whole book. 

The entire weekend that the book takes places over is careening towards only one ending: utter destruction. It's just a matter of finding out how. What I didn't expect was what happens in the last few pages. If anything, read the damn book just to be utterly surprised. It's so surprising and over so fast, that I actually had to go back several times and reread the last chapter, just to make sure it actually happened. The characters, although unfamiliar and unsympathetic, are believable. They are engaging fuck-ups. 

If I had to pick one character to relate to, I would pick the constantly drunk, gin loving Giles, who by 12:30 in the after noon had "consumed five Gin Rickeys, four gin and tonics, three gin and its, two gin and bitters, and one gin" (Amis, 47). This could possibly reflect an outing after a particularly bad wait shift at the restaurant. My love for gin is the only thing that connects me to any other person in this book.

It's impossible to think that this book wasn't written by someone on a lot of drugs, but it's very possible that the author has done no drugs whatsoever. He writes at the beginning:

"Not only are all characters and scenes in this book entirely fictitious; most of the technical, medical, and psychological data are too. My working maxim here has been as follows: I may not know much about science but I know what I like." 

Damn.

So why the title Dead Babies? The "dead babies" in this book are the sobering moments. There is a sinister character in this book who remains a mystery until the very end, who makes his presence known in little blips of their weekend. Writing scary letters, destroying personal property, playing on irrational but very real fears of the other characters. This is a terrifying character who we as readers tend to forget exists, along with the others, in a book that is only slightly over 200 pages. He only comes into complete fruition on page 203. The book ends on page 206. 

This is a book that I could totally see being a Kubrick movie. In fact, if you mash together A Clockwork Orange and Eyes Wide Shut, you might get a sense of what this book is about. Somebody did try to make a movie adaptation. While searching for a real trailer, I found this, which gives us little information as to the plot, but offers a pretty good snapshot of what is in store:

The movie wasn't well accepted, from what I have read. Even watching interviews of Martin Amis and hearing him speak about his work, you would never expect a book like Dead Babies to be written by any sane person. I think what I like about it is that it's ballsy writing. Who writes two, count 'em: two satires...about the holocaust? 

His others works vary from fiction no non fiction, and it's very good writing based on really not good subject matter, and you feel like you're going to go to hell if you laugh, but you just can't help it sometimes. 

Just one big dead baby joke.

Stately, Plump Buck Mulligan (never really makes another appearance)

Today at 7:14 pm, I became a person who has read Ulysses. Yes, the entire Ulysses.

The following conversation has happened on more than a few occasions:
Person: Hey, whatchya readin' there?
Me: Ulysses!
Person: for...a class? Or for fun?
Me: For fun!
Person: oh...

In case any of you have been wondering where I've been, my nose has either been buried in the novel, or at my new job (which is pretty great).

I have some thoughts:

When we last left off, I was in the middle of the book. Since then, I've read through a hilarious chapter where, written in the style of a play, things like soap, buttons, and a fan are personified and given lines, becoming minor characters with credible thoughts. Bloom (a man), gives birth, becomes a donkey, goes to trial, and becomes a mayor. WTF. It's hilarious and strange, the plot happening simultaneously in both reality and in a dream-like state, and the entire 200 plus page chapter all takes place in one hour.

 

The chapter that comes next is...dull...BUT it's the beginning of Part 3! The narrative is laborious, and rambling. The identities of the main characters become confused, which could have been interesting but with the writing hard enough to hack through, it's difficult to be impressed.

Throughout the reading, it is hard to keep the perspective that the entire book takes place in one day. This is usually forgotten multiple times due to the fact that in no way can this book be read in one day. In the penultimate chapter, our drunk and perverted protagonist finally returns home, with his new buddy Stephen Dedalus. Written in a Q&A catechism style, Joyce gives us way, way, way, way, way too much information. We understand that Bloom fills a cup with water. What we don't need to know is how the water gets from the reservoir to the pipes, which then fills the very cup that Bloom is holding. And then there's great merriment when the narrative describes the two characters while they are taking a piss outside, with Joyce comparing the longevity and vigor of their streams (I mean seriously, if there's going to be a four page poop joke earlier in the book, you can almost see this one coming). In a way this chapter is the reward because of the extremely extensive explanations, but it is also an anti-climax because we realize that although Stephen and Bloom have much in common, they obviously will not become best friends. Which is kind of a bummer because after 700 pages you want a happy ending.  Bloom does, however, resign himself to his wife's affair by putting the actual act in perspective to the entire world it seems, and in the end forgives her, which I guess is as happy as the ending can get. In some way, I think this chapter reflects a concept that is bigger than Bloom, bigger than Stephen, and bigger than mankind...but I can't quite grasp the words I am looking for.

And so now we talk about the last chapter. Comprised of eight massive sentences, in a steam of consciousness narrative from the point of view of Bloom's wife Molly in the middle of the night, it is surprisingly easy to read (despite the complete lack of punctuation including apostrophes). It's important to note that the final chapter is written from the perspective of a woman, but written by a man (I think Joyce is honestly trying to open up to the female perspective, but fails, simply because he is not a woman). It goes a great deal into explicit thoughts about her sex life, not quite a Fifty Shades of Grey moment, but one hundred years ago in a very Christian Dublin, probably would have been treated as such.

I'm glad I read it, I'm glad I finished it, but I'm a little sad to be done with it. I dedicated a part of my life to reading it, and now it's like saying good bye to a friend. I've had a lot of fun reading articles about the book itself, about the author, uncovering some of the puns and jokes, and learning about different interpretations. But sadly it is time to move on. The giant of Infinite Jest and I have been eyeing each other for quite some time now. I also have recently acquired two books by Martin Amis (whose writing style "can rise to Joycean brilliance" - Newsweek), a very thoughtful Christmas gift.

I am so sick of talking about Ulysses now, but it's more than a book. I'm not sure what to call it, but it's not just a book. A concept maybe? I'm at a loss for words.

And so it is up to you. Will you be the next to read Ulysses? The Joyce is yours.



(see what I did there?...heh)

My Adventure with Ulysses...so far.

There is a fair amount of insecurity when it comes to sharing my thoughts on books. To publicly post something like this with my thoughts regarding a huge literary work that has been largely written about and analyzed takes a lot of courage. This is not an analysis, nor does it hold anything substantial to contribute to the world of Joyce scholars. It's simply a short list of thoughts and some really interesting links.

If you become bored out of your skull, there's no way for me to know that you've stopped reading :) 

When I first started reading Ulysses, I hadn't read any guides or articles, had no idea what it was about, and had no idea what to expect. I am currently a little more than halfway through with it, and I have some comments.

1.) When reading such a major literary work, it's easy for one to take every line seriously, and to try to find meaning behind every little event. This will not work because the events that occur in the book have very little impact on whatever plot exists, and the vast majority are just mundane events that occur in every day life. What you don't expect, is that it's hilarious...and it wasn't until around episode 4, where there is an extended poop joke that goes on for a few pages, that I stepped back and realized that I was reading a comedy. Even Joyce himself states in an interview that  “the public will demand and find a moral in my book—or worse they may take it in some more serious way, and on the honor of a gentleman, there is not one single serious line in it”. 

2.) That being said, there are layers upon layers of jokes, puns, and puzzles that Joyce lays down for us in the book, and the best part is that they're all totally unexplained. There is one "chapter" (episode) that is basically all music puns, and one even references Don Giovanni, which will fly over the heads of readers unfamiliar with the music world. Some things only make sense when they're read aloud - and in an Irish accent. There is also humor found in the fact that Homer's Odyssey is the work that Ulysses is loosely (and I mean loosely) based upon. Instead of the characters in the Joyce novel being heroic, they're drunk, perverted Irish men. There are even jokes on Shakespeare's major works, most of which probably went right over my head...not to mention the hundreds if not thousands of other details and nuances that lay hidden within the words. I would leave any interpreting to Mr. Frank Delaney: this is a man who has taken on a serious mission to decipher the entire book line by line. 

3.) And here's the kicker: It's written in the most beautiful language. So it's a hysterical comedy with not too much of a plot, full of puzzles and references, hidden jokes, with no real moral, and written by someone who is a wizard of the English language. All that and I'm only half way through the book, which chapter-wise leaves me at the very beginning of episode 14, out of 18 total episodes. There's a chapter (7) where it's written in the style of a newspaper, with headlines and everything. There's a chapter (10) where everything stops and it follows around minor characters of the book, about 19 of them, with 19 individual short stories, and they all make fun on the major characters of the book while walking around the streets of Dublin. There's even one, which is in my near future (15) written in the style of a play, complete with stage directions. 

This book blows my mind.

Not that I'm trying to convert you into a Joyce reader, but if the reasons above haven't sparked at least a little bit of interest in the work, here's a pretty good article on why you should read this book. Yes, it's a huge book that falls around 783 pages. Yes, you may not understand the majority of what's happening, and you will not catch all of the jokes. You might not even laugh once. Yes, it's a difficult read because you have to adjust to all the different writing styles. It's a daunting task, but with this book being more talked about than actually read, wouldn't you at least want to hack your way through it just once, if not for the bragging rights alone?

Doing the best I can...

Fall Resolutions

New Years resolutions never work, and I'm pretty sure there have been studies that prove it. Ever since I was four years old, every September has felt like the real beginning of the year: for school. The changing leaves, my new back-to-school wardrobe, and fresh backpacks waiting to be stocked with new pens and pencils, probably a calculator, notebooks; and that first assignment: go home and cover your books. Then usually once the year starts, notebooks become old, you lose all your pens, book covers rip, out come the grungy winter boots, less sunlight, homework up to your ears.

The point that I'm trying to make is that winter sucks and fall is the best season ever. Most of the trees have already changed, since it's almost November, but there are still some things I want to do before the snow comes, and while it's mild enough to make me want to put on a coat, and not stay inside under the covers. 

Fall Resolutions: 

-Visit my two favorite museums in Boston: Museum of Fine Arts, and the Gardner Museum, because there is so much to see, and so much to be inspired by.

-Fall walk along the Charles (ok, so maybe I did this about a week ago, but the weather was way too nice, and it ended up being a sweat-fest instead of a leisurely walk complete with scarves and hot apple cider). 

-Get to the BSO, and keep going. Last year I got buried under a pile of work and wasn't able to go hear some of my favorite pieces. Although I did perform there, I do enjoy watching my favorite players crush masterpieces. In a good way. 

-Read more. I received Infinite Jest for my birthday. A really kind gesture, or a cruel joke? I know that I will enjoy myself on the 1,079 page venture, but in the meantime, I want to read everything. Although I'm a big fan of non-fiction, a murder mystery every now and then is refreshing. I also want to read more philosophy books. I don't want my brain to die since I'm no longer in school...even though I'm pretty sure there's no chance of that happening.

-Find a job that I love. I am currently in between jobs. My last day at the seafood conglomerate is tomorrow. After that I have a new job at one of my favorite restaurants in Boston. I can't complain, money will be good, consistent, and I can already tell I will enjoy it. The thing is, it's not in my field. I know I'm not the only one who graduated with a degree in fine arts who is doing something that pays the bills, but feels like you're just waiting for something better to come along. The hard thing is, to nail an audition, you need to practice, so you need time. The more time you take to practice, the less time you are working. When you don't work you don't make money. You don't make money, you can't pay off your really expensive undergraduate school bills. So you need a job where you can make money. So you work more, practice less. And so the vicious circle continues. 

Cheer up Washington, it's  not all bad.

Also, I now consider myself an expert in making deals with creditors, so if you need advice, send me an email. 

These are the things I want to do. When I first started this blog, the months of October and November were completely dedicated to the exploration of Boston. So that will be my goal this fall. I know it's already November, but there is only so much time before winter begins, and my list isn't that long. 

Today is the first Saturday I have had all to myself in a while, and I am enjoying every second of it. I am going to go and enjoy my day now, I slept all the way in (past noon), and had a pumpkin donut for breakfast. Now I'm going to maybe go for a run while it's still nice out (lower 60s). 

Tonight there will be much celebration, as I enjoy the Salty Pig with my coworkers, so that I can spend my last shift ever in my true form: severely hungover. 

Cheers. 

Nashoba Brook Bakery

Confession time. On Sunday I ate with reckless abandon and ended up eating a few pounds of sour patch kids, and finishing off an entire package of fudge covered sugar wafers with a good friend of mine. Now that I'm back on track, I can say that although my taste buds were happy...my stomach was totally unbearably angry.

But I've been good ever since!

One of the worst discoveries that I have made so far is that most bread contains sugar...and I love bread. Bread is wonderful. But wait! I discovered Nashoba Brook Bakery bread at whole foods. There are 0 grams of sugar...and their bread is like...so good. Probably the best bread I've ever had. 

So when you have their Rosemary Garlic bread and add to it home-made tuna salad (with mayo, pickles, and onion), you can actually have a sandwich that contains no sugar. Yay! Also, if that tuna salad sounds gross to you, don't knock it until you've tried it. I'm still doing the watermelon mint water stuff...and I'm heading to Whole Foods tomorrow to try something new. Not sure yet, but I have a few ideas. I'll for sure edit this when I have a decent concoction. 

It's still hard to get a quick something to eat when you're on the road or running late to work. For instance, I had my usual Starbucks breakfast sandwich when I was running late enough for work to not be able to make my own food. Whilst chowing down, I looked up the nutrition facts. There were only 3 grams of sugar, which isn't that much. What startled me was the fact that it had 28 grams of fat and 500 calories. That is literally more than a quarter of what I need for the day...and it's tiny, so you'll be hungry again in an hour. Even McDonalds' breakfast burrito isn't that bad in comparison, coming in at just under 300 calories with 16 grams of fat (and 2g of sugar). At least the former is pretty good...leaving the latter a rather tasteless and flaccid "burrito". Although their coffee isn't the worst I've ever had...so that's an upside. 

Enough about calories. I'm just glad to have finally found something that's actually really good with no sugar. Thanks Nashoba. 

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Things I have noticed now that I am almost done with the second week of no sugar:

-The morning following my sugar binge I snoozed my alarm so hard. Now that I'm back on track I've been waking up on my own at around 6:30am. Not that I actually want to ever get out of bed at that hour, but it's better than sleeping through my alarm or pressing snooze a million times.

-I used to nap in a booth at work between shifts. Now I have more energy and crash less in the afternoon.

-Aaaaand, I've lost five pounds, even though the point of this was not to lose weight. 

And there you have it. The results of 12 days (mostly) without sugar.

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Edit: 9/13

The newest concoction has been made. 

Ingredients include strawberries, basil, and lime seltzer. 

If you think it looks good, you're right. 

Happy Weekend. 

Not as Easy as it Sounds

Not sure why there is a huge space here...whatever. 

Turns out, going without sugar is a total drag. Literally.

It's time consuming to read every single label and to google nutrition facts whenever I am about to eat something at work. It's inconvenient when you're on the road and desperately need some nourishment after teaching and the only thing that is fast and cheap is a Dunkin (I had black coffee and ALMOST a donut). It sucks when you want to have a coke or a lemonade for that sugary fix in the middle of the day and then fatigue hits you and then you want to hit a coworker for speaking to you because you're tired (lest you have a diet coke...oh the chemicals...although I did have a small one out of desperation). It also sucks when you go out with friends for drinks and you have you have your Hendricks on the rocks instead of with tonic water. Oh wait, that's better. Tonic water also has about 32g of sugar per 12oz. But it's also incredibly painful when you're dealing with a sudden change in your diet and you get a giant stomach ache in the middle of the day that makes for hours of discomfort.

BUT...

Six days in, what are the good things? I'm drinking a lot more water, and having fun with putting things in my water to make it healthy. I'm cooking more of my own food at home which is healthier anyway, but it also makes my wallet feel good. I am actually sleeping much better at night and waking up early is easy. It takes some planning ahead, but bringing in my own meals to work is working for me (low fat hummus and baby carrots, almonds, huge water bottle full of stuff). I think I'm just eating healthier because I'm reading the packaging and going for whole foods instead of processed, and since I'm allowing fruits and not fruit juice or sweet teas or any other sugar beverage that disguises itself with healthy sounding labels, I all around feel better.  

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The water:

A lot of internet sites will call the following "detox" beverages. I just think they're delicious...but also no matter what our diet is, our bodies are always detoxing, so is there really such a thing? 

Lemon, cucumber and mint: 

One lemon, one cuke, and one handful of fresh mint. 

Let sit overnight and enjoy.

Of course when I walk into work everyone is like "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT"

Watermelon and mint:

Two ingredients. Hopefully one really good water drink. 

Two simple ingredients 

Of course, I wasn't able to let this sit overnight to let the flavors mix in, but there was quit a bit of leftover watermelon juice in the container.

So it's going quit well for me over here. I've had a few moments where I maybe had something that contained sugar (bread), but I think a slip up once in a while is okay. It's hard and it's a huge change, but so far the benefits have been worth it.